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Run thru Bipolar

Overcoming Bipolar disorder thru running and cycling

Month

June 2014

I have bipolar disorder, but I am not crazy

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Run Sucked – Rough couple days – JuneAthon Day 26

So where to begin, Let’s go with my Run sucked today, I ended up with 7 miles in 1:06 but it hurt like hell, I could have stopped at a mile, but kept pushing. Back was killing, calf hurt, my hip was even hurting. But I sucked it up, and kept going. finished off my last mile in my fastest pace, but still a slower run than my normal days. We are allowed to have rough days when running.

Mood swings… OH how I love my bipolar, you never know what the next day might bring. Yesterday (Wednesday) had a big company party, 1,000 people one room, I know a lot of people, I think I’m friends with a lot of people, but I felt so alone. I almost didn’t go, but I did go and won a raffle prize, then all of the sudden, I had friends again. They were everyone I knew, but carrying around my prize, people wanted to chat a little more. It was most likely just me thinking that I was “alone” but again that’s what my bipolar does to me. Even today we had another outing, and sitting there I felt alone, then I got up and started talking to people and started to feel better. Sometimes, I have to break that barrier and tell my disease to leave me the F alone. It appears to have worked, I’m feeling better, not sure if it was the run, or just hanging out with people, but I’m feeling good. 

 

As for the monthly Totals.

June totals:

67 miles running
13 softball games
4.5 miles walking
40 miles cycling
10 mile Mt. Biking
7 Graduation Party

Softball Tuesday – JuneAthon day 24

Tuesday is softball night, I subbed for my old work team, we won 15-2, co-ed and the other team was terrible. Had fun, but could have been a bit more competitive. Well, I got that in my second game. On to my Normal Tuesday team, sitting at 3-4 W/L, playing a team that had beat us pretty bad last time we played them. We scored 7 runs in the second inning, and that was it until the top of the 7th. Trailing 11-7, we scored 6 runs to take a 13-11 lead into the bottom of the 7th. We got out of the inning/game with only giving up 1 run, Final score 13-12, we made it back to .500  4-4 and sitting in 3rd place in the standings.

No running today, unless you count the outfield and around the bases. I have a big work outing tomorrow after work til late, so I’m going for something that I typically don’t do, and that is get up early and go for a run. I dislike morning runs, but what the hell, I can man up and do it. Thinking 4 miles but maybe 5, depending on what time I get my lazy, sleepy, butt out of bed.  

As for the monthly Totals.

June totals:

60 miles running
13 softball games
2.5 miles walking
40 miles cycling
10 mile Mt. Biking
7 Graduation Party (only 3 more to go)

Tuesday Truth: Mental Thresholds

So true. Had to share.

Running On Om

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“The real thresholds, those that make us give up or continue the struggle, those that enable us to fulfill our dreams, depend not on our bodies but on our minds and the hunger we feel to turn our dreams into reality.”

– Kilian Jornet, Run or Die

{Photo taken in Nickerson State Park in Cape Cod in June 2014}

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JuneAthon Day 23

It’s Monday, but I made the best of it, I got to spend my afternoon volunteering at at food distributor. The plan was cycling, but it rained, and looks pretty ugly out, so I stay off the bike. #NOT HARD CORE. only because people drive cars like idiots when it’s not raining, no need to make it more dangerous. So last Monday was Track day, so today, I figured, lets go for a fast 5k.

Plan is now a fast 5k. Lets define fast: my PR (just set a month ago) is 23:10, to some that is slow to many others that is blazing fast. So here I go, not planning on PR-ing or anything, but still need to push myself. I start off strong, half mile in, nice 7:10 pace, (or so I think) then I pick it up, drop pace on Nike GPS watch to 6:50. At the first mile mark; TIME: 7:22. (stupid pace on watch isn’t that great) but maybe I started slower than I thought. So during the second mile, I’m watching the pace sub 7:00, mid 6:50s. Watching the lap time, here comes 7:00, then 7:05, then 7:10. WTF…. mile 2 time: 7:24. Now I’m thinking this really hurts and the pace is totally screwing with me. so I turn the pace off, and watch the distance. 2.25 lap time is 2:00 (that’s an 8min pace) but I feel like I’m going fast, but hurting. Then 2.50 miles, lap time 3:55, ok times coming down a little, 2.75 lap 5:50, getting a little faster. NOW decision time, 3.0 (do I stop and take a 3 mile time: 22:25, or push that last .1) I said I was doing a 5k, for I’m doing a freaking 5k, 3.1 miles. 23:15. Not my PR for a 5k, but still dang fast.

 

As for the monthly Totals.

June totals:

60.1 miles running (yes I’m putting that freaking .1 on there) 
11 softball games
2.5 miles walking
40 miles cycling
10 mile Mt. Biking
7 Graduation Party (only 3 more to go)

JuneAthon 22

I’ve skipped a couple days of posting, so here goes the weekend recap.

Friday night, Date night (as always) this time we actually took our daughter with us to dinner (didn’t let her fend for herself). Good night out, then fell asleep on the couch watching one of our DVRed shows.

Saturday, up and at it early, Finally got the pool parts in the mail on Friday, so first thing I had to do was fix the pool and finish filling it up. Then Weeds, weeds, weeds, they are a pain, but one week to go before Grad Party and they have to be cleared. After that 3 grad parties. Then Softball, We were moved up in a division for playoffs, lost first game 15-17, second team didn’t show. So that means this coming Saturday 5:00 to play thru the losers bracket to get back to championship game. 

Sunday morning up early for a 9 miler, 1:21 held a pretty stead 9 min/mile pace. Then off to Church, now blogging. Before I take on vacuuming the pool, then back to the weeds. I hate weeds. 

As for the monthly Totals.

June totals:

57 miles running
11 softball games
2.5 miles walking
40 miles cycling
10 mile Mt. Biking
7 Graduation Party (only 3 more to go)

Mixed Mania

Great blog here, check out Uneven Jenn. Worth the time to follow.

“Coming Out of the Bipolar Closet”

A long read, but so spot on. Very true final paragraph.

BIPOLAR IN BLOOM

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You have a secret. A secret you’ve been keeping for years if not forever from your family, your friends, your boss, and maybe even yourself. A secret so secret that if people knew, it might change your relationships. They might judge you. They might hate you. They might even fear you. You’re different. You’re weird. You’re sick. You’ve tried to change it, but it’s just who you are, and you can’t keep it inside any more.

You’re bipolar.

Bipolar. Bi-polar. Manic Depressive. It doesn’t get easier the more you say it. You try to use “mood disorder” or “depressed” instead because you think it will have less stigma, but you know the truth. At the moment of diagnosis, you went from being that person — the eccentric-but-sometimes-sad creative — to that person: the crazy one. You know, the person on the subway who you avert your eyes from because you…

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