Run thru Bipolar

Overcoming Bipolar disorder thru running and cycling

Love your fear

Don’t let it stop you, make it make you stronger. 

Embrace it,  and conquer it.

Love your fear

Do you ever just hate everything


I’m having one of those days, well maybe one of those weeks. Where everything just pisses me off. I’m mainly talking about work,  sitting in my cool office, at my stand up desk, with an awesome view,  and I hate everything. No clue why, just don’t want to deal with anyone or anything.

Have you ever felt that way? Looking for answers,  looking for a fix. Currently got some food, found a quiet spot, where I won’t be bothered.

Had to vent, looking for help.

Start the 50k Training

Well, according to the plan today is the first long run for a 13 week training plan to run my 3rd 50k. I followed a plan pretty good for my first 50k. Life got in the way during the second one. And let me tell you, the first one was much better than the second one. I’m not really much for following plans, like to use them a reference and never stick right to the numbers.

Well today called for 8 miles. I had all the intentions of running 10 or 11. About 1 mile in, I felt fast but tight, so inorder to recover from a faster than normal start, I decided I would go to a 25/5 routine, 25 minutes run, 5 minutes walk. I did this last year on some long training runs, but wasn’t going to do it for a 8 to 10 miler…. But always willing to adjust, I decided in order to get the best of out this round of training, I’m going to do 25/5 on all runs on Saturday until the Ultra. And I’m going to run Sunday recover runs of 1/2 the Saturday distance. So my first 2 miles in the 8 min/mile pace (way to fast for a long run) was able to recover enough during walks to maintain a overall pace of 9:35 pace. Also the wind was a little crazy, so I changed my route, turned right instead of left, did a couple switchback type sections. Got in 8.25, overall I say it was a Win. I’m really happy with that. Run 4 tomorrow and it will be a nice first week of training.


Didn’t run, started meditation

So having a so-so kind of month. Ups and downs, not super smooth,  but no major depressions. I got an email from a blogger I follow, and it was how to meditate,  tips on mediation.

Figured what the hell. So after watching his YouTube video, I downloaded an app. Well that was yesterday midday. Another shitty day today,  I said what the hell. It starts off with a free 10 times,  10 minutes each. I listened to the first session,  I felt much better. So now to keep it up, and maybe 10 days from now,  I’ll be a mediating fool.  (I mean that in all the best ways. )

So stay tuned, never know what I’ll blog about next.

Race Report: Resolution Trail Run

First race of 2016, It was a F.A. event, for those that don’t know FA events are short for Fat Ass, they are free events, that help get people outside and running together. These are typically in cold conditions to help keep people motivated.  This event is on a trail (Go figure based on the name), but it’s on a 2.5 mile loop, that is used for High School Cross Country. They have 4 groups; 1 hr, 2 hr, 3 hr, and 4 hr. Winner based on as many loops you can do during that time.

2016 Resolution Trail Run
2016 Resolution Trail Run

Two guys put the whole thing together, and let me tell you how awesome they are. The Facebook page has 100+ people interested in going, and from the looks of the Tracking Board, there was at least 75 people there. These guys, start planning months in advance, GPS running map, with Elevation posted online way in advance, so nothing surprises you. Also they are out early marking and clearing trail. I think this year, they even cut through a downed tree that was blocking part of the trail. Orange flags on trees, and posts, also orange spray painted arrows on the snow for all the turns.

ResTrail 2
2016 Resolution Trail run

This was my second year running it. I was hurt last year, but still ended up doing 5 loops. This year was a little warmer and less snow on the ground. I think we started at about 30 degrees, last year it was around 20 degrees. Started off the first loop with calf tightness and foot soreness. I still hadn’t decided if I was going to do that 1 or 2 hour group. Figured I would decide after 1 loop. Well, like a lot of runs, I felt like I should quit about a mile in. However, about mile 2, my legs started to loosen up. So at end of Loop 1, I signed up on the 2 hour group.

The Aid station, aka the Start/Finish line. Was well stocked, 2 picnic tables, 1 covered in food, everything from Tim-bits (non Tim Horton customers, Small Doughnut holes) to oranges and bananas. The other table had 2 big 5-Gallon Powerade and Hot Chocolate containers. With such a short looped course all you need is 1 Aid station. Remember this is also a Free Event. It’s a Potluck style event, everyone brings something, and before you know it, BOOM a ton of food and drinks. Also, big tarp on the ground, for bag drop. Keeps the bags from getting wet on the snow and icy ground. These guys think of everything, and do an outstanding job.

ResTrail 1
2016 Resolution Trail run

So how did I do? I was able to get 5 loops, took me 2:19, You can get a bonus loop, if you finish a loop before the cutoff time, my 4th loop finished at 1:53. I felt so good after the first and second loops, I was really interested in my times. Being a 2.5 mile loop, you can’t really compare miles to miles for time, because it’s only every 5th mile that match up. Lots of uphills and downhills, makes for ever changing mile times. I love Strava, I was able to create a segment (surprised one didn’t already exist) But created a segment for 1 loop. This is a great way to compare your runs over time to see the improvement. Also, they have CR’s and PR’s to compare to others. But I know that us Runners NEVER do that. Back to the research,  I was really impressed that after 2 slower 29 min-ish loops, I was able to do the last 3 in the 26 min range, with each one being 20 seconds faster than the prior.

Overall, this is a great race/event to do, if you are in Michigan next January, you should look it up. Also glad that I was feeling so much better on the back half. I’m typically the exact opposite of that, which means if I suck in the first half, the second half of the race is horrible. It’s going to be a great 2016. Stick around and follow me, I have some great races scheduled.



8 years

So today I was at my psychiatrist and we was recounting what we’ve discussed over the years,  when I was diagnosed and what has happened in those years. He also mentioned he wanted to talk with my psychologist. His point to wanting that is to see if I don’t need to be on my meds for the rest of my life.

Needless to say, I’m pretty excited, but nervous about the possibility. Excited to not have to take something everyday. But not worried about taking it, because it never had any side effects. Nervous because I will have to mentally be strong all the time, the thought process now is the meds will solve all my problems.

So it could be an interesting time ahead while I/we figure this out. I’ll keep everyone up to date.

I really need to stay focused on my blog, I will try to do better.


Back at the blog

Been a long time, almost 10 months.  So today I was at work,  feeling low and not energetic. Instead of my PB&J sandwich I decided I would go get some food. Not sure what, just get out of the office and find something.

I remember when I would go for walks outside on lunch or just sit in the park. So I headed toward the park and the food trucks. Checking the menu boards, I passed 3 and the 4th one had “comfort bowl” it was corn bread base with BBQ pulled pork, coleslaw,  cheese and BBQ sauce.  Sounds good, let’s give it a try.  Now where to sit and enjoy my comfort food.  I ended up in the grass in the park,  listening to a band playing. Birds flying,  sun shining, slight breeze,  felt perfect. So after 30 minutes I was refreshed and headed back into the office. Rest of the day went much better.

Just a reminder to get back on top,  sometimes you have to get away and eat the comfort food.  Or just sit outside and get some sun.

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